Somewhere buried deep in my soul or my DNA is a fear that I am missing something. I have always appreciated what I have and where I am but at the same time questioned what might have been or could still be. Recognizing that trait as inherent to who I am as a human and more specifically who I am as a member of a family of people who harbor an urge to travel and/or up-root and start over, I have decided to try to objectively self analyze and deny my inherited urge to want something different before I do something stupid and act on it.
I love travel. But ironically travel can both aid and abet my new desire to just "be satisfied" with the status quo. Through travel I am able to experience and thus mourn, what is unavailable to me when I am not traveling such as beautiful mountains, diverse culture, or quaint coffee shops (or any kind of shop!) to name a few. But at the same time travel can bring me to a more rational and appreciative perspective of where I am and what I have. And let there be no mistake, I have much about the status quo to celebrate
I write this blog post at the end of a short week of travel. Having just spent some time with 2 unhappy women one of whom is 84 and the other 62, I am determined to take control of my attitude and purposely define who I am and will be as I grow older. Both unhappy women have been blessed with health, considerable wealth, and comfortable abodes (even beautiful). And yet they both constantly look at the glass as half empty and know the grass has got to be greener on the other side of the fence to use a couple of cliches. And so, they either whine and complain (the 84 year old) or chase the elusive utopian life they are sure they have missed but can still have (the 62 year old).
What a lesson learned for me! Is it too late? I am guilty of just what I have observed in those two women encountered in my travels this week. But no more. I return home with new appreciation for my rural existence that lacks culture, restaurants, diversity and entertainment. I go forward with a focus on what I am blessed with rather than what I am deprived of. I will appreciate the solitude, long sunsets, massive green space, and even the political and religious extremists I live amongst. I call them my neighbors, and I know in spite of our different ideaologies they will always have my back. I return knowing that I'm missing something. But also that I have something.
I will continue to travel and seek new experiences. I will continue to fall in love with new places and fantasize about other lifestyles. But beginning now I celebrate my life as it is. I have learned who I am through travel and more importantly who I don't want to be. Through travel I have found myself. For me it is true what James Baldwin said: "I met a lot of people in Europe. I even encountered myself."
